Quora: What is the best band with the worst individual members?

(Answered by Mike Bowerblank)

Assuming you mean “worst” in the “lacking individual talent” sense, then I offer this:

Producer: “Okay, so tell me about this rock band you discovered.”
Agent: “They sound amazing and they’re unlike anything you’ve ever heard.”
Producer: “Sounds terrific. Tell me about the lead singer.”
Agent: “He’s actually a drummer, but we moved him to lead vocal. He can’t really carry a tune, he has myopia and a learning disability, and he doesn’t enunciate his words and he lacks anything resembling eloquence.”
Producer: “Uh, and he’s the lead singer, you said?”
Agent: “Absolutely.”
Producer: “I assume he’s charismatic.”
Agent: “Does that mean tall, geeky, introverted, and enigmatic?”
Producer: “Not even close.”
Agent: “Then no.”
Producer: “What about the lead guitarist?”
Agent: “There isn’t one.”
Producer: “And this is a ROCK band, right?”
Agent: “They have a rhythm guitarist and he only knows three chords.”
Producer: “And you signed these guys?”
Agent: “On the spot. Their bass player writes amazing lyrics.”
Producer: “Oh, okay. He’s a poet, is he?”
Agent: “Not at all. His songs are about beating on kids, dysfunctional families, and mental disorders, and many of the songs sound fascist.”
Producer: “Please tell me I’m being Punk’d.”
Agent: “Kind of. We’re calling this new sound punk rock.”
Producer: “I can see why. Who’s the drummer?”
Agent: “He’s a producer, actually, he doesn’t even like drumming.”
Producer: “You’re so fired. Get out of my office and take those.. those…”
Agent: “Ramones.”
Producer: “Take those Ramones with you.”

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