Ed Cyphers

Emily Kinney: “I Went Looking For You” (2021)

Actress/singer-songwriter Emily Kinney wrote “I Went Looking For You” about the 2018 funeral of her “TV dad”, as she called Scott Wilson, who played Kinney’s character’s father on The Walking Dead.

Beyond the particulars, though, there is a universal idea most of us can relate to–that of looking for a loved one who is no longer there…or perhaps still is in some way.

I thought I felt you, and the sun was burning my skin
As I climbed the stairs to handshakes and embraces
I thought I saw you in the screens, or heard you in the speeches
Or maybe in the tears running down your best friends’ faces

Take it in, one last look
We all hesitantly stood
Take a view, past the church pews
I was just staring at my shoes
But as expected, at the last second
Paper skin and bright white hair
I went looking for you, my friend
But you weren’t there

I guess you’re in the heavens
I guess you’re in the sky
I guess you won’t be coming back to say goodbye
More questions than answers
Your guess as good as mine
And though you’ve lived such a beautiful life
It doesn’t seem fair
When I went looking for you, my friend
You weren’t there

There were whiskey shots and dancing
Handouts with your name
We all kept our composure
Though the world would never, ever be the same
In this life, the hits keep coming
Oh, our bodies wear and tear
I spent the evening circling, looking
For you, my friend
But you weren’t there