Every Moment Has A Song

(Reprinted from MSN)

By Brienne Walsh

We know how tricky it is to strike the right balance of sincerity and humor in a wedding toast. Add to that equation two shots of tequila and a few glasses of champagne, and things can go wrong, very wrong. To help you save face (and avoid the wrath of the mother of the bride), we’re counting down the 17 worst things you could say in your speech.

The Rough Start

“When I first met the groom, I didn’t like him all that much.”

The “Gee, Thanks” Quip

“We were beginning to worry that you were never going to get married.”

The Never-ending Story

“I only have a couple pages left.”

The Breakup Crack

“The last time you guys broke up, we were all sure it was over. But look how wrong we were.”

The Anti-Marriage Remark

“To a thrilling lifetime together spent watching thousands upon thousands of hours of television!”

The Downer

“I’m really happy that we’re all here to celebrate today, but I’d like to take a moment of silence to remember the 1 billion people who live in chronic hunger everyday.”

The Memory Best Left Forgotten

“Remember that time in college when we made out?”

The No-Filter Comment

“I know shouldn’t say this, but it’s really great that your husband is so rich.”

The Doomsday Two-Cents

“If it doesn’t work out, I know a really good lawyer.”

The Cheating Tip

“One word of advice: Wait until you have kids before you cheat.”

The Divorce Dig

“May this marriage turn out better than your first one.”

The Ex Mention

“I remember when you said your ex-boyfriend was the love of your life, and I’m happy you found another one.”

The Dagger Compliment

“I honestly don’t know how you snagged this guy. You’re so lucky, I can’t believe it.”

The Big Slip

“Congratulations on the baby! Oh wait, have you started telling people?”

The Show-Stealer

“To my sister, I’m so excited to share some wonderful news with you on such a special day: I’m pregnant!”

The Inappropriate Joke

“May all your ups and downs be between the sheets.”

The Really Inappropriate Joke

“There’s a saying that the length of the best man’s toast is how long the groom will last on his wedding night. (Pause.) Cheers!”